It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year!

I just wanted to take the time to share just how excited I am for Christmas this year! Thanksgiving is only a few short days away and I couldn't be more excited for this holiday season. There are many reasons why I get excited every year, obviously a big one here in AZ is the fact that we women can finally wear those awesome fall outfits we've been dying to bust out of our closets. A big thing for me every year is wearing boots. I sure love me some boots and the fact that I've been able to wear mine without looking crazy due to the cool weather has me very happy. :)

Of course, Christmas is an incredible time to share the true meaning behind the holiday. And yes, I know that Jesus was really born around mid spring, but that doesn't change the fact that over the centuries the celebration of his birth is December 25th. Jesus was born and the world finally had hope of being saved from their sins. How could you get more magical than that? To me, that's where the 'holiday spirit' comes from. Suddenly people are more understanding, more generous, more kind, more loving, and more jolly than they typically are throughout the year. I believe a lot of this is from the Holy Spirit but it gets lost in translation to just 'what christmas is about'.

Everything about this season just has me giddy like I'm one of the kids instead of a parent. I get overly excited when I find gifts that I know the kids are going to freak out over, I find peace in a hot cup of chocolate, I smile bigger when I know that we get to put up our tree and start listening to christmas music. I just LOVE christmas!

Something that I've tried to do with Julia every year, that I'm hoping to get Jett and Leila into as well, is baking christmas cookies and passing them around our neighborhood with christian tracks in them. I make it all about my daughter when we go. All I do is knock and say, 'Merry Christmas neighbor! I'm here teaching my daughter about how christmas is all about giving and we would like to give you some home made christmas cookies!' My daughter then walks up and hands whomever answered the door (or sometimes their kids that accompanied them) the bag of cookies and says 'Merry Christmas, Jesus loves you!' I do my best to kind of stand back and let my daughter take the reigns on the actual giving part. We also did something very similar to the Walmart employees of our neighborhood walmart that we go to probably more often than we should. ;) For this we took the cheap candy canes in different flavors, wrapped a christian track around a candy cane and tied a little ribbon around it to keep it from falling off. Not only did all of the employees love getting a candy, but most of them could be heard talking about it all over the store. A little girl is passing out candy canes! What better way to show kids that christmas is NOT about getting toys, or about having the best decorations in the neighborhood. But instead it's about giving to those that you might not even know. It might not be a very big thing to do, but I personally believe that the message is clear. Giving is what christmas is about because Jesus was born just to give His life for our sins.

Tonight I couldn't resist any longer and started to get into the christmas spirit. Considering we all didn't have matching stockings and we definitely couldn't afford to buy everyone new ones that they picked out, I simply bought the $1 felt stockings and some glitter pens to write our names on them. I was also able to get all of the christmas decorations we needed in one night for under our budget! Needless to say I'm very excited for Thanksgiving and the friday after to start putting up decorations :D

I can also express just how thankful I am that I did my christmas shopping early and won't have to be involved in any of the 'holiday bustle and tussle' that almost everyone goes through! Phew, definitely dodged a bullet there, LOL. I cannot wait to start making memories with my new little family this year and starting traditions of our own that will last a lifetime. Until next time.

-Mrs. C

Sunday Funday Was A Big Surprise

Today I woke up with no special feeling it was going to be a big day or any inclination thereof. I got off work early in the morning instead of the afternoon this week and even tho I was exhausted, I definitely liked it. The kids were thrilled to see me earlier than they're used to and were very excited to spend time with me and daddy before church.

The fam spent a good hour eating breakfast and just being silly and cuddly together before we started to get ready for church. After I was all done up (which I actually had energy and time to do this morning lol) I did the girls hair and had everyone go to our usual waiting spot down stairs to pile in the truck and head off to church.

Right as we were about to walk out the door a curveball was thrown at us that was just a bit frustrating and sad for my husband and myself. Sadly, we went to church thinking that Jett and Leila would be picked up earlier than on a typical Sunday. As both myself and my husband were thinking and wishing that the kids could stay until the afternoon like we had planned. This thrilled us and the kids considering we had lunch plans with my parents after church because my mom had made Leila an afghan that she expressed interest in when she wanted to keep the one my mom made for the back of our couch at home.

At church they had already decorated for xmas and the kids were all impressed and loving the decorations. Of course I got some pics! ;) We took the kids to class and got to listen to one of the most amazing sermons I've heard yet. Love Life Church has never failed to be inspiring and gotten my skin to tingle and have goosebumps from the truth and purity of what they were preaching. I love this church and the people that attend there, probably more than my childhood church I grew up in.

Getting back on track, we dropped Joey off to get some last minute work in on a job since the rain had finally stopped, and went to Grandma's house. Here's where Christ shone in our life like a wildfire in the middle of the night. Joey and I had humbly asked my parents for a little help until payday on Wednesday my parents agreed to help as long as we assured we could pay back on payday, which we very much could. My mom is a very loving and sentimental woman, so when she handed me an envelope with a card inside saying our loan was in it I didn't think twice. I opened the card and four checks fell out.

I'm so glad this is typed so you can't see me cry as I write this. My amazing, loving, generous, and just plain incredible parents had given us $1300 to get some things that we have desperately needed but just haven't been able to lately. Now let me state very clearly that my parents are not wealthy by any means. They have their own struggles and financial problems. This money is God's money that they had deducted from their income as tithe. Currently they're in between churches and have just helped out by giving the money to whomever has needed help. My mom wrote a beautiful message to Joey and I saying how happy she is to see how God has brought us together and that she has seen the Lord shine through us more often and stronger as time goes on. Of course I cried very hard.

My amazing parents that could have used this money on their own bills had it set in their hearts from Christ to not just help us financially, but that this money is to get tires for the truck, insurance, registration, and pet deposit. These might be expenses that most people can get taken care of relatively quickly, but for us it just seemed so much was piling on that it was going so slowly it felt like we were standing still. This took one of the biggest weights off of our shoulders that weren't aware just how heavy it was until it was gone.

I can't tell you just how many times God has helped us float smoothly away from a very stressful situation we didn't know how to get out of and into the safety of His grace. This is just one instance of many that we've had happen since meeting in June this summer. I am amazed and in awe of how merciful and absolutely beautiful my God is! I have been brought to tears out of gratitude and appreciation too many times to count I feel like its all too good to be true, but Christ Jesus has let heaven rain down blessings over and over again regardless of how hopeless the situation looks to us.

I write this as a praise and as a testimony to the Lord's work in my families life. In no way am I trying to brag or catch attention. I literally am still processing what's happened, not just today, but everyday since June. God is so good and when you stop doubting Him, when you stop questioning how He can love you as much as He does, and when you stop getting in your own way you will be absolutely astonished at the blessings that God will give to you because of your pure heart and unwavering faith that He is in control and will be by your side to keep you up. Not just above water, but so high that you can soar and bask in His never ending love.

You ARE a child of the most high King and He loves you so much more than you can possibly imagine! His love is so pure and so baffling to the human mind that it is almost impossible to accept or understand. Christ wants to give you blessings that you cannot even imagine and all it takes is belief and faith. Of this I can attest to by my personal experience.

Just in case you missed it. Jesus loves you. Always has, always will, and He will NEVER leave you. Just be sure you don't mistake Satan's work for God's negligence. God is merciful and loving. He will never put you through pain or anguish, but the devil? He will do anything to destroy you or any link you have to Christ. Be wary. But know without a doubt that God loves you and wants ever so much to be involved in your daily life.

-Mrs. C

Never Doubt The Lord Taking Care of You

As many of you readers know, my husband and I are expecting our 4th child between the two of us. His 3rd and my 2nd. When we first found out we were pregnant we were beyond thrilled. There wasn't anything that either of us wanted more than a child of our own together. And we were blessed to have one this soon after being married. :)

One thing that always stayed in the forefront of my mind was how we were going to pay for everything that we would need before the baby got here. I'm sure many of you either know from experience or can imagine just how much it truly costs to start a child's life. They need so much and literally have nothing! Of course in the first trimester we didn't really worry too much about where and how we were going to pay for everything. As time went by tho I started to worry. Which I tend to do more often than I should, despite how well Christ has taken care of me, especially in the past 6 months.

From finding steady work, to finding the love of my life, finding a house in two days, finding funds for said house, and so much more in between. God has been by my side blessing me time and time again. So of course I was worrying for no reason at all about where all this baby stuff was going to come from. Out of our own pockets I think we've spent maybe $75-100 in the past 5 months that we've known I was expecting.  Everything that we have was either bought for us or given to us. And I cannot express how this is a direct gift from God.

A great friend of mine that I've known since high school was beyond generous and gifted my husband and myself a crib, pack n play with a bassinet attachment, high chair, crib set, blankets, toys, shoes, clothes, and even items that are for our girls! It honestly is going to save us more than $600-800 in baby expenses we had no idea where we were going to pull that money from. And it wasn't just second hand stuff that no one would want. My dear friend could have easily sold all of these things and gotten a very decent amount of money for it. But God touched her heart and reached out to me and offered it all.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't cry during this whole ordeal. My God is so good to me, so unbelievably amazing that I just couldn't believe it. Through my trust and faith that God would take care of us no matter how grim the circumstances looked, that's how I was blessed with everything that I've been gifted for Oliver.

Never underestimate the power of faith in The Lord. You will truly be amazed at what blessings he pours into your life when you trust whole heartedly that he will never let you go without. And be sure that even when you feel like you have nothing, you have much more than others in this world that are very thankful, be thankful the Him for everything that he has given you. I am blown away and in awe.

God is so good!!

-Mrs. C

'No Big Deal, Just Do Better Next Time'

As a parent or anyone that deals with kids, it's easy to see children freak out and wonder, 'What on earth are you thinking?!' or 'Come on, you have to be smarter than to pull something like that!' I, myself, have been there many times in the past. My kids aren't perfect, just like I'm not perfect. But today, I realized something.

Due to some bad choices earlier in the week, one of my work children needed me to accompany him in the classroom at his school this morning. He had completely destroyed the classroom and flung papers, books, markers, crayons, you name it everywhere. He had a literal 'freak out'. When I walked him to class and watched him walk into the classroom, I expected the kids to be a little afraid of him blowing his fuse again. Or even be a little cruel like some kids can be by saying they didn't want to be friends with him anymore. The kids were a little surprised and chatted about him being back in the class because he was suspended for a few days.

My heart softened as an autistic little boy walked up to my work child and simply stated, 'Hey man, what you did the other day? That wasn't cool. But you're ok. Just don't do that anymore.' The rest of the hour or so that I spent watching the kids in the classroom, the more that I realized the kids weren't afraid of him, they weren't saying mean things, and most of all they were accepting and forgiving him for his 'freak out' earlier that week.

The more I thought about it the more I understood, that as a parent, I don't accept my kids 'freak outs' as much as I should. Haven't we all been there? Lost our temper on the road or just snapped at someone for something that wasn't their fault? How many times have we, as adults, had our own 'freak outs' that we had to accept, that friends and family had to accept and learn from in order to move on? I can think of numerous occassions for myself if I'm being honest.

How amazing would it be if every parent could harness this sort of zen attitude towards children's mistakes and freak outs? Of course kids will always push their limits and of course parents will always come to a point where they will be frustrated in one way or another, but if we could take a step back and just think to ourselves, 'How would I want someone to react to my so called 'freak out' if I just was having a rough day and couldn't contain it?' I'm positive NONE of us would choose to be scolded, spanked, or punished.

Now don't get me wrong, kids still need discipline and clear lines of what they should and should not do, but just like us, they're human and make mistakes. I know I touched on this a little bit in my 'Patience? Ain't No Body Got Time For That' post but this is a little more focused on accepting that our children are mini humans. Not only are they human just like us who make mistakes, but they're very young and have so so much to learn and grow from.

One thing that I'm learning as a parent more and more every day is that I need to take a breath before I just react. I need to understand that when Julia has a melt down because she can't get something that she wants, or decides to show a little attitude when she's told she can't have another piece of candy, that she's only reacting the way any person would react if they really wanted something and someone just told them no when that person had their hopes up. Now, obviously having that type of an attitude isn't okay, but as a parent my husband and I need to nurture and help her understand why her reaction is rude and saddening to us as her parents.

I urge all of you parents, guardians, mentors, or anyone that works with kids to take a step back when the child in your care is having a full blown melt down, 'freak out', or tantrum. Understand that even though it makes no sense to you why it's such a big deal, in their mind's it makes perfect sense. It's such a struggle trying to find the perfect balance between being firm with your children and being soft with them. I know that I'm going to do my best to try and understand that even though not being able to play with that specific toy right now might not make much sense to me, that to my kids it's an earth shattering event. A child's work is play and with that we need to remember that we are so much farther in life than our kids are.

Eventually, I want to get to the mind set of that sweet little boy who came up to my work child. It's no big, just do your best to get it right next time. Children learn through trail and error just like most of the rest of us. They need to understand and know that we accept them and love them entirely, not just on their good days. I think that's one of my biggest fears. That one day my kids will stop coming to me because they fear my reaction. And I never want them to feel that way.

Every child makes mistakes just like every adult makes mistakes. Our kids need to know that as long as they strive to be better on their next attempt, their 'freak out' is normal and accepted as a fact. Not to be encouraged, but to be taken and used as a tool to mold our children into the adults that we ultimately wish them to be. A good person.

-Mrs. C

Date Night - What's That??

Last night was one of the best nights that I've had in the past couple of months. It was the first time since the beginning of July that my husband and I got to go out on the town, just the two of us. We didn't do anything spectacular. We didn't go on some super fancy date night, we didn't do anything crazy or out of the ordinary, but it was the most fun I've had since our last night out together.

It all started when I decided to do my hair all pretty because I had just dyed it and friends and family members were asking for pictures. Of course I had to do my hair all nice to show off the new color! (I went to brunette by the way :D) As I was doing my hair, I thought how awesome it would be if we could go out for a date, but we needed to save for the baby, xmas, rent, and other things that we're wanting to get. After talking to my husband we decided that if we constantly go off of 'when timing is right' we would never get to go out.

After calling our babysitter, AKA Grandma, we dropped off the other two at their mom's house and then dropped Julia off at G-ma's house for the night. Not only were we amped to be going out with each other without any kids, we were feeling oddly like teenagers again. We could do anything, go anywhere, have fun without worrying and stressing about if the kids are behaving or getting everything they need. Fortunately, we had all 3 kids covered for the time being.

We decided to head to WestGate since it has many restaurants and lots of walking space to eat and just spend some good quality time together. Joey and I walked around trying to decide if we wanted Mexican, American, Fine Dining, or Italian. After casually walking around we chose to eat at Margaritaville. A place that I had never been in and it was a very good experience. We talked and laughed about everything and nothing. Surprisingly, we didn't spend the whole dinner talking about the kids! A very big feat for us seeing as how we're constantly trying to figure out better ways to run our  house and ideas to help the kids grow and learn.

My lucky hubby got to have a couple of drinks while I scarfed down some yummy fries drenched in ranch. It was an amazing experience and I was high on life and loving every minute of precious alone time with my other half. After paying our bill, we took a short walk a few stores down to a brand new candy store. Yes, you heard right! My 32 year old husband and my 25 year old self went into the candy store, and we definitely went a little crazy getting candy! After an hour or so walking and laughing in the candy store we were so high off of our time together and feeling so amazing that we literally felt like we were kids again.

Our night didn't end there, but that is where this description ends. ;) But the point of this post is that it is absolutely vital to any relationship, especially a marriage, to get out just the two of you. Even if it's just a walk around the neighborhood, or going to the store together. Make sure that you set aside time every day to spend with your spouse, even if it's just 5 minutes that you sit in an embrace. Taking that time out to spend solely on your relationship can change your mood, your attitude, even your demeanor.

I cannot express how much better and less stressed out I feel after spending a night alone with my husband. Even sitting here writing this I'm starting to tear up because my heart is so fulfilled and I desperately needed some love and attention from my husband.

Trust me, even if it feels like there is never any time or money, take the time to spend with your spouse. Both of you need it to keep your marriage going strong.

-Mrs. C

When Siblings Fight, Mistakes Are Made

If you're a mom of two or more I'm positive you've been in this situation before. You're kids, for whatever reason they've deemed worthy, are fighting and bickering with each other. And, as always, it happens at the most inconvenient times during the day. Let's just face it, kids whether they are related or not will fight with each other to some degree at least a handful of times every day. Once we accept to not freak out about their arguments and blatant cruelty to each other, it gets a bit easier to deal with. And I use the phrase 'a bit' very loosely because I have yet to find that easier part that I'm sure is somewhere down the road of life.

Before I got together with Joey I only had my own daughter to deal with who played by herself or with me or with my mom all of the time. If she ever did play with kids, it was her cousins that are all at least 3-4 years older than her. It has been quite a challenge for myself, my kids, and my husband to deal with Julia's transition from being an only child to being the youngest of 3 until March/April of 2014 when Oliver decides to come out.

Lately, Julia has been hitting her brother and sister a lot. Mainly she's been 'beating up' her sister Leila. Currently, I'm at a loss with what to do and how to fix her from using her hands. The zinger is that (as far as we know, and we've observed many times to be sure) Leila doesn't do anything to Julia. An example, is that last night Leila was laying on our love seat down stairs watching a movie on the tv with the other kids. Julia was sitting on the big couch, closest to Leila, and decided it would be a good idea to stretch her feet across the floor and be laying on both couches. All the while, her feet were literally right in Leila's face. Leila asked Julia many times to 'please' remove her feet but Julia just wasn't budging and flat out ignoring her requests. Finally, Leila started to lightly 'slap' Julia's feet to get her to move them. (We corrected Leila later about how she should handle those things in the future. Such as getting me or Joey to help, or simply moving to a different seat) Julia began to freak out and cry, she ran upstairs and began to tattle on Leila. Oh how LUCKY am I that my husband saw this whole thing and was able to help guide Julia in telling me the truth.

Now that situation has Leila putting her hands on Julia, but if it isn't obvious to you who the instigator is, it's Jules. *Sigh* Now don't get me wrong, there have been times when Leila doesn't make the right choice and needed to be redirected and needed help in how to handle situations with a little sister who just wants to be exactly like her. None of our kids are innocent in the aspect of picking on, being mean, hitting, or excluding another sibling. And compared to when they first met and started to get to know each other, they have improved.

Our other child, Jett, seems to either be Julia's BFF or he wants nothing to do with her. The normal with Jett and Julia is that either Jett will automatically go straight for anything in Julia's hands and try to take it/insist that he needs to play with it OR he'll watch and wait for her to do something that he thinks is wrong to come and tattle tale to Joey or myself. And most times, before telling either one of us he'll try telling Julia a million and one times that she needs to stop, which, of course, she won't listen to him as opposed to listening to mommy and daddy.

Yesterday, thankfully, I got to have a day with all 3 of the kiddos instead of just Julia. We had a nice afternoon of icees with popcorn at Target and grocery shopping before heading home for me to put everything away, get our craft stuff put into our bookshelf/cabinet, make dinner, and wrangle the kids all at the same time. They behaved as well as they normally do out at the store, obviously getting distracted and forgetting that they can't just pick up and drag things or climb onto the displays of chairs and cribs. But, oh man, once we got home, it was like something went off in their minds to start bickering and fighting over EVERYTHING. And I mean everything.

I finally had enough when it was bed time and they only had one task left to do before our good nights and prayers with them in their own beds. Brushing their teeth. Now you'd think that having a double sink in the kids bathroom would be more than enough sink space for a 7,6, and 3 year old. Well, if you thought so like I did, then you were mistaken. As they're standing and brushing their teeth, all of the sudden Jett starts crying and having a panic attack. (I literally had only walked a few feet towards our own bedroom so I could take one of my many prego potty breaks.) I walk in and the only thing I can gather from the girls brushing and doing exactly like they're told is that Jett hurt himself somehow from brushing his teeth.

Well my dear mommy friends, this was not the case. He had began this fit over the fact that Julia was not 'hurrying' to his standards in spitting out her toothpaste so he could spit out his. And instead of using the sink that Leila was using, who coincidentally was standing halfway away from the sink brushing her teeth so there was plenty of room, he decided to fight with Julia and make a scene. Now we had just changed their toothpaste from the young toddler fruity tooth past to colgate with a light mint flavor, and because of this, which I had warned all of them about the new taste, he was complaining that his mouth was burning and it was Julia's fault because she was just refusing to move. Being the mom that I am I saw a very simple fix, scoot Julia over a few inches just for a moment so Jett could spit it out and move on. Well, that just caused Julia to scream and cry. And I don't just mean crying, I mean a spanken worthy scream and cry.

So lil miss Jules got just that, 3 whacks on the bottom. (In case I haven't mentioned before, I am a very strong beleiver in spankens. I was spanked and whooped with a belt as a kid, so was my husband, and both of us turned out just fine. Although, I only use my open hand, I could never use an inatimate object to inflict pain.) The second my hand touched her bottom she let out this blood curdling scream as if I had just shot her. This is something my husband and I do not allow. Yes the kids are allowed to cry, obviously spankens aren't pleasant, but to scream a high pitched scream like that, we view as outright disobedience and disrespect. When kids do that, or at least ours, it's like they're trying to tell us off, and let me tell you that that message was written all over Julia's face last night. I wiped her mouth free from toothpaste, rinsed her toothbrush, and took her out of the bathroom to talk to her. She was beside herself and was just crying until I was able to get her to understand she needed to calm herself down. At least a little anyway.

Jett, however, I turned to and made him put all of his things away too and told him that he had made a big deal out of nothing and could have used the other sink. You could say that this wore on all 3 of us about the same. Thankfully, my knight in shining armor came to take over. Unfortunately, situations like this can bring on my pregnancy mood swings. So I removed myself, continued to put away laundry in my closet and did my best not to burst into tears. My hubby got all of the kids in bed, calmed down, prayers said, and tucked in. Bless him, I would be lost without him!

After some much needed hugs from Joey I calmed down and went to talk to both Jett and Julia a bit more level headed and clear minded. Both of the kids were very forgiving and apologetic for their own fault in the situation as well. I reminded each of them that I loved them very much and I never intended to get upset with either of them. After some hugs, kisses, and smiles with laughs everyone was over the situation and feeling 100 times better.

As parents, we need to remember that whenever we make a mistake no matter how small, we need to own up to it and apologize. If we don't, our kids will never learn to admit to their faults and take responsibility for their mistakes.

Kids will fight, and kids will do everything they can to test the ropes and push your buttons the best way they can. In the end, as a parent, we need to do our absolute best to remain as calm as we can. If the kids are just having a rotten day, try resetting them by finding something that calms them all down and helps them to get along. In our family, we make our kids hold hands when they're just having trouble getting along and playing nicely together.

In the end, we need to be fair, consistent, and able to admit if we lose our heads to our kids and apologize. Children are incredibly resilient, they will forgive easily, and love you even harder than they did before. Don't be afraid to look human to your kids. But most of all, don't be afraid to be the role model that you want them to be.

-Mrs. C

Mom, Wife, Co-Worker, Daughter, Sister - But What About ME?

This past week I had a mandatory training seminar for work. Without getting too much into the details, one subject that came up is that as caregivers we rarely think about setting aside specific time for our own self care. And if we do, in turn, we feel guilty about enjoying some alone time without our kiddos, both work kids and our own personal kids. This got me thinking pretty hard over the past couple of days. How true is it that we view the day, more or less, as a schedule and a list of things that need to get done for everyone else in the household but ourselves?

We make sure everyone gets fed and off to be entertained before we even think about putting a few bites in our mouths to keep us going, we make sure everyone else is dressed and done up nice before we even take 5 minutes to double check that our clothes indeed match enough to be seen in public, we make sure our children and husband's or significant others have everything that they need or could want before we even stop to think about what we ourselves need. We take kids to sports practice, dance classes, play dates, park time, family time, church, birthday parties, and whatever other activity that our kids might get invited to.

By the time dinner is done, baths have been taken, bed time stories have been read, cuddles and tickles have been distributed, night time prayers have been said, and the littles have finally fallen asleep, most of the time we don't think, 'Yay! Finally time that I get to do whatever I've been wanting to do!' If you do, then you're one step ahead of me and I applaud you! As for myself, all I can think about is that it's time for my shower, my goodnight kisses from my hubby, and crawling into bed before it gets so late that I'll be useless to do it all over again the next day.

Something we have to remember is that our own self care, or in other words taking some time to be selfish and spend a little bit of time and effort on ourselves, is absolutely vital to our smooth sailing in the house hold. You have to find a balance between making sure that everyone else is taken care of, and making sure that you're taken care of as well. Because if you don't take the time to refresh or revive yourself, other than just sleeping at night, you're going to get very burnt out. I can speak from experience that if you don't take some time in the week to read a book, take a hot bath, paint your toes (or get them done, without children in tow), do a hobby that you love, or just veg out and watch your favorite show or movie while divulging in your favorite not-so-healthy-for-you snack, you'll get so burnt and worn that it'll start wearing on your patience and your ability to be at the top of your game with your kiddos.

We already talked about my struggles with patience, so we all know just how important it is for mine not to wear out! But every time I decided to take a bath instead of vacuum, crochet instead of playing on the floor with my kids, or even just lay in my bed for 5 extra minutes before getting the kids lunch, I always, always feel guilty about it. For some reason we have it stuck on replay in our heads that if we don't drop everything for our kids or our husband we're being a bad parent or a bad spouse. The reality is that this mentality actually speaks volumes in the opposite direction. Because you feel that deep connection/obligation to cater to your kids and spouse that just means how much of a good parent or spouse you are.

So where's the problem? If having that guilty feeling means that you're on the good side of things why even talk about changing that? Well, I'll tell you. How easy is it for you to finish this sentence about yourself: "One thing that makes me AMAZING is _____"? For me it was quite difficult. Isn't that bragging? Boasting? On the contrary my dear friends. It's so easy for us to tear ourselves down, find an almost infinite list of our flaws and failures, beat ourselves up over spending just a little time on ourselves and our own self preservation. We need to understand and change that mentality. We need to think to ourselves, 'I am amazing!' for whatever your personal reasons are.

We need to stop feeling guilty about those 20 minutes we take here and there or even an hour or 2 that we take to spend on ourselves. And I mean on ourselves. Not on the house, not on projects, not on work, not on grocery shopping, not on checking anything off of any check list anywhere. Taking that time to yourself to revive you and refresh you is very important. Not only does that time relax you, but your kids and spouse will be able to notice it as well. Whether you meditate, work out, craft, write, sketch, or just catch up on your shows on netflix, it is vitally important that you stop feeling guilty that you're taking time for yourself.

If the kids wait an extra 10 minutes for their baths, they will survive. If your husband has to wait an extra 20 minutes for dinner to be ready, he will survive. You don't starve your children or neglect your husband for yourself. You're simply pushing back the time that things are 'due' to spend some very important time for someone who does a whole lot for the family. Y-O-U.

I'd like to leave you with a challenge. I challenge you to complete that sentence I mentioned earlier. "One thing that makes me AMAZING is ____". Complete that sentence, believe that sentence, make it a work of art and put it up on your wall. Do something with it that makes you stress a little less about spending 5 minutes on yourself without your family around. Once you do, you will be absolutely amazed and impressed at how much smoother things seem to run. It also increases patience from what I've gone through personally. There is no reason to feel guilty about taking some time for self care. Enjoy it, indulge in it, let all of your worries and stresses slip away as if you're on a beautiful beach miles and miles from all of your problems.

-Mrs. C