Parenting is such a wide and diverse topic to talk about, there are so many different ways to parent and still be great at teaching your kids the fundamental building blocks that they need for a great future. However, there are still parents whose techniques just dont work or are just dangerous and lazy.
Today I ventured into the WIC office to get some much needed help with the struggles my husband and I have been facing. Especially since his ex is trying to squeeze money out of him this next week in a mediation when there is literally no money to give without taking away a vital utility in our house.
Personally, I dont care much for public places because these days most people have absolutely no sense for personal space or just plain respect for another human being. Today I was reminded exactly why I dislike being around a bunch of random people. As Julia and I sit waiting to be called back and more and more people come to wait, there were two women who's incidents with their kids sincerely shocked me.
One woman had 3 kids that looked to be the ages of 5, 3, and an infant who looks like she had just learned to crawl. The baby was crawling on the floor and the mom walking beside her, nothing shocking about that, its good to let your little ones get a sense of freedom if there's room and if it isn't a filthy place. But the older two took off across the room and were about to round a corner out of sight from mom. The mom calls for them to come back and these kids look right at her, laugh and keep running. Right back into the cubicles where people are trying to work! Logical action? Pick up your crawling baby, get your two older brats and make sure they know that YOU are the parent and they need to obey you, right? Oh no, this lady LEAVES her no more than 7 month old and goes out of sight from her to get the older kids and doesn't even physically get them she stands for a good 5 minutes calling them to come and they dont listen until and employee makes them.
Now, I know I can be a strict parent sometimes but this, to me, is terrible parenting and even more so, its dangerous! Anyone could have stolen that baby!! And please, lets address this whole 'leaving kids to choose to obey you if they feel like it'.
Im sorry if it comes off harsh but simply telling your child 100 times to stop isn't going to make them stop. You need to physically pick them up, hold their hand, slap their wrist, spank them, hold them in a time out, ANYTHING that gets it through to the child that they dont run you or any other adult. How do you think that child will act as a 10 year old? 14 year old? Or even an adult? They're being raised with absolutely no respect for authority.
The second woman had three kids as well but a bit older. 6, 4, and 1 or 1 1/2. The oldest was a little girl who had no idea what personal space meant. She walked straight up to me and Julia leaned into us and asked us our names, where we lived, why we're there, and on and on. It took the mom about 5 or so minutes to read my 'you need to get your child off of a stranger before the stranger moves her off' look on my face. But that was nothing compared to what happened with her 4 and 1 year old.
The 4 year old was building with foam blocks and the 1 year old was trying to crawl around his big brother because the brother had sat right in front of him and put the baby between his back and the wall. There was no room for the baby to crawl except straight through the foam blocks. This little boy shoved his baby brothers head straight into the table and told him to stop ruining his building. This I only saw from the corner of my eye so I didnt say anything because I wasn't 100% sure of what I saw. The baby was crying and mom was as absorbed in her phone as she could be. The baby tries again to go past his brother (I'm watching this time) and he straight body slams this infant into the floor onto his back!
I tell the mom exactly what happens and what's her reaction?? As calm as a sweet summer breeze she says "Now is that okay?" I swear she didnt talk more than a whisper. "You need to come sit down for 5 minutes because that earned you a time out. We dont hurt people." And of course because mom is acting all sweet as candy the 4 year old is having a fit that he's being told he can't play with his beloved blocks anymore. She asks him twice, he doesn't budge and just whines and yells he doesn't want to sit in time out. She stands up and goes to pick him up and he "hmpff's" and throws himself on the floor and she just stands there! She tries again to ask him, nothing. She tries again to pick him up, same reaction. After three or four time of this the kid is finally threatened that he'd get a spanken at home if he didnt listen and the kid basically ran to time out. Umm...? That should have been the first reaction to slamming your tiny brother into the ground without remorse. Which, by the way she never made him apologize or check to make sure the baby was even ok.
This parenting behavior just blew me out of the water. Now I know everyone has different opinions on how to discipline kids, and that's fine. But you have to find something that WORKS to where your kids will respect, listen, and obey what you as the parent are telling them to do or not to do. Many of you might now that if Julia had done that she would have gotten a spanking then and there without hesitation. She would have had a talking to about what she shouldn't have done and why. I would have repeated the conversation until she thoroughly understood what she did wrong, why it was wrong, and something she could have done instead that might have worked. Also, and most importantly, I would have explained that I only spank and correct her because I love her and I want her to make the best choices that she can and be the sweetest little girl that she can be.
So many parents are just too exhausted or lazy or just dont care to invest the actual time into their children to ensure they become good people and not convicts or criminals. It breaks my heart and lights an angry fire to my core when I see parents who shouldn't have any kids or who are making dangerous or reckless mistakes.
"Honor your mother and father and love your neighbor as yourself." -Matthew 19:19
Something every child should learn and have etched into their mind. Even if you just see it as a sentence and think the bible is a story, its still something every child and every human should be able and view as important to follow.
-Mrs. C
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