Breast Milk Woes

Having a new born comes with all kinds of stress attached to the countless joys. The sleepless nights, many breast feeding sessions, cries, sometimes screams, droopy eyed diaper changes, and the illusion of sleep that taunts you.

With my daughter Julia I was shy about breastfeeding anywhere but my own house and ended up only being able to breast feed for a month, IF that long. This time round I was, and am, completely determined to breast feed as long as I'm physically able and my son is willing to.

I read books, searched articles, found lactation tips and recipes, found out different ways to latch, looked up different feeding positions, anything that had to do with breast feeding I looked it up and read about it. I was feeling very confident until recently.

Once my milk actually came in it was very apparent that my flow was too fast for baby Oliver. I tried everything to try and slow it down/help him be able to eat without choking or gagging and spitting up what he just ate. I leaned back to nurse, I laid down to nurse, I tried pumping a little before nursing, and time and time again it was the same. Especially at night when it was longer between his feedings.

I've come to the conclusion that I have no choice but to solely pump until he's able to handle a faster milk flow. It truly breaks my heart that I have to put a hold on exclusively nursing until hes a week or two older and hopefully, crossing my fingers and toes, he'll be big enough to handle a faster flow. At the very least its still breast milk, but I truly love having that mother and baby bond with my son that I missed out on with my daughter.

I just want to encourage all breast feeding moms out there not to give up. I've heard the first few months are the hardest and I'm barely finishing my first month at it. I can say with confidence that nursing is hard and complicated when you try to go out and about because you have to stop and sit to feed baby instead of plowing through and popping a bottle in their mouth. (Which I personally view as a form of neglect - propping a baby bottle up and walking away to go do whatever you please until the baby is done eating. You can't regulate how much they eat or burp them accordingly to how much they consume and how quickly they eat it. For a few seconds if you need to grab something or use the rest room, sure, but not the entire bottle feeding.)

I'm hoping that very soon I can go back to exclusively nursing. At least before I HAVE to go back to work to help pay our bills seeing as how all of our money is going to just ONE bill right now. Those of you who know me personally should know which one that is. If I'm very lucky, then God will provide a way for me to continue to stay home with our kids and I can take care of them instead of having someone else watch them for me.

There is no one better to take care of, teach, or play with my children than me and my husband. And I will never believe that someone else should be watching my children more often than I do.

-Mrs. C